a thousand and ten poems,

Alright bloggers. Welcome! I am using my brothers old computer right now because my beloved laptop crashed. :( I was not pleased. At all, I almost cried, that thing is my life. So cross you fingers and hope that my Pa can fix it! No matter I am not under any circumstances going to just stop writing or a week or two. Pft yeah right, I literally wrote like twenty pages f my book down on paper last night because I couldn't get the idea out of my head. Figures my writing block would loosen up as soon as my computer crashes. I also see I have a new follower!! Whoo Hoo! :)

I am glad you liked my blog enough to add it. Alright well onto the soul of this blog, I have been lately writing poems mostly because they just keep coming to me. And f your like me than if you deny an idea that comes to mind later you will hate yourself. Anyway o to the poems, I am going to put up about three or four. Bare in mind they are depressing by I am not in any way depressed. So rest assured bloggers that I will not be cutting up my wrists. Besides, I dislike blood and pain and death. These poems are my original work, please let me know if you like them. :)

Inevitable:

imagine your a dove.
a dove with wings,
bright as the sun,
pure as freshly fallen snow
imagine the soft wind hitting your face as you fly
freedom is what we wish.
you have it,
are you satisfied?
is your urge to fly stated?
will you go back to be a captive, now that you have tasted life?
I never thought you would,
we are selfish creatures, this we know.
we don't like to share, once we taste something, we want more.
quotes upon quotes, books upon thousands of books tell us the truth we deny.
"from a little spark may burst a flame." Dante Alighieri, circa 1265
does this mean something to us?
he who is considered the best literate poets in history saw us for what we are.
does this spark a flame inside us?
does it make us want to change?
Is it easier to deny the inevitable?
this answers are yours to make.
make them if you will, most wont.
the difference between heaven and hell is quite simple.
yet we deny our eyes they're truth.
how long will this earth spin?
where do we go when it stops?
and why can't we change the inevitable?
unanswered questions and unimportant meetings.
is this really what we strive to achieve?
is this really what our lives has come to?
it's not enough.

She dances in the dark:

and she dances in the dark

bec ause her world seems to slip away
she is at peace once again,
because no one can see
the pain and heartbreak, that lies beneath.
will someone come to break her shell?
or is it too late to for her tell,
the secrets she's ke pt at bay.
'how easy it would be' she thinks,
'no one will miss me' she thinks,
in the dark she is something so lovely, when the light floods,
her waking dream is never as it should be
as she hopes high one day it will change
the truth behind the lie is always the same
one day it will be to much,
one child is not enough
to care for a burden in which tares her apart,
the heavy weight sags her shoulders down
while it gets harder and harder to keep her head in the clouds.
when will she make it through?
her waking nightmare is always lurking,
behind closed doors I see the truth.

For some reason I lost myself:

I figured out that life is nothing special.
I have discovered what people strive for
I know now why I use lies
I have given my heart and had it broken
I have dealt with pain in immeasurable ways
I have passions that take up my time
And stare a paintings with no hope of ever stopping.

I have not figured out who I am.
Do you think I ever will?

A broken dream:

I wish I had a place,
You know those places
where the world disappears
where your embodiment lys at the brook
where you can shift through mistakes,
without the constant reminder that they are real.
where do you find a place like this?

I want a place from my broken dreams
I place where I feel whole
One I can call my own.

Understanding is different from knowing:

You may think you understand
but you don't.
You may think you have it all figured out
but you don't.
You may think everyone loves you
but they may not.
If your heart beats faster, it doesn't mean your in love.
but in danger.
If you run and trip, If they laugh and ask "How was your trip?"
Say "I've had better."
Because this world isn't nice and sweet,
This world hurts more than you could ever imagine.
I ignore the inevitable but escaping the reality.
You do what you have to, to get by.
There is no shame, there is no judgement
Because those people who laugh when you fall.
Those people who say nothing and walk quietly by.
Those people who fuck with your mind.
Those people mean shit.
Those people know shit about your life, so they don't matter.

Simplicity:

I have found it quite intriguing
The difference between love and hate
How one could share such a passion
Then fall from grace
It is in this moment, were I shout and scream
That I myself, realize just how far I have fallen
Does it matter if I feel nothing?
Is it normal to follow instead of lead?
And what does simplicity really mean?

Can you tell me who I was when I was five?
A little girl too far away from evil,
To notice just how close it really was
How my dreams centered around ponies
Yet my nightmares centered around you.
How I would stay quiet when told
And obey when need be.
How much we have changed.
Or have we just been pretending all along?

Can I go back to were the simplicity lys?
Or have my demons taken me too far?

I once was told to follow my heart
But were it will take me scares me most of all.
I was once told that vampires were make believe
My only reply was 'Then how come no one will believe?'
I once saw you,
On the steps of our school,
You looked right through me. How it must have hurt?
To realize I had cried myself to sleep.
When I saw you again I walked the other way
It hurt to see how happy you could be without me standing by you.
Yet you weren't really. Were you?
It was a nice charade and it brought me back.
See, I knew we were the same all along.

Have I strayed too far to realize my love has become my hate?
Can someone tell me why the center of my being was left that day on the steps
When you looked right through me.
Can you explain why I need this deadly escape?
Can you answer questions that have been floating in my mind since my beginning in time?
I never thought you could either.

Simplicity doesn't matter when your heart is shattered.
And demon's can't take you when you go willingly.
Hate cannot be compared to love when everything is said and done.
And childhoods are lost to us because we push them away.
The little things are never as wonderful as they seem.
And when you lose yourself, have fun going through hell to get it back.

Lovely, Loneliness:

Was this a joke?
Do you find it funny?
Did you laugh it off with your friends?
Ignore it? Play it down?
I wonder, do you even care at all?
This was not what I had in mind
This was not what I wanted
This was what would destroy me
For you told me you loved me.

I simply stared into the distance.
For what else could I do?
I could not say it back,
I did not want to feel it back
I wanted to disappear and never come back
I had enough problems
Enough demons to fight
I was not in love
Nor will I ever be. I was prided for this flaw.

Why would he say this?
And in our spot.
Was this meant as a joke?
Had he not hurt me enough in the past?
He would destroy us.
And I was quite partial to 'us'.
Love is a drug, an enemy, something to destroy. Not to feel.
Yet he said it smiling.
Why?

I go over a list, one I got from a friend.
"Do you love a man" It was called. I found it ridiculous yet I took it anyway.
As I skimmed over it, I checked the boxes.
It wasn't looking good.
Could I love this man?
Would it hurt us in the end?

When I finished I was smiling.
I guess I could love after all.
Yet we were quite a pair weren't we?
The sweetly broken girl and the dark demented boy.

Well that's all I got so far, They are O R I G I N A L S, I have a site on polyvore that I had already put these poems up on but that site is mine, so basically I just copied my poems from my polyvore site to this one. If you want to check it out here you go http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?id=876137&page=4