When you look at the stars what do you see?

I see myself. I see something beautiful. I see something unchanging in appearance. Appearances can be deceiving, which leads me to my next question. Correct, because we all know the stars are not how they seem. Them are changing growing older each passing day, yet their appearances stay the same to us. Why? Why do whenever I look at the stars do I feel safe? I don't know, maybe a sense of comfort, some hidden memory I have repressed. All I know is whenever I feel as if my world is falling down around me I can look at the stars and they bring me back. They remind me that the world isn't as it seems and though the appearance may stay the same the reality is far from it's appearance.

Do you ever feel trapped?

I have. Many times I have felt trapped, as if the walls were closing in on me. I would be worried if you had never felt this way before. Being trapped is something metaphysical and emotional, something you can't get over with a wave of someone's hand or a pat on the back. I don't care what parents say, Doctors, Shrinks whatever you want to call them, they don't work, not unless the person what's it to work. Have you ever heard of physics, yes well the only reason they work is because they plant a seed of an idea in your head and you strive to reach it to make their predictions come true. Self serving prophecies. You have the power in your life, don't ever let someone tell you differently.

The picture above remind me of my life. I a lot of times relate my life to pictures, to art, history, books, fictional characters I relate my life to them because when I do my life doesn't seem so bad anymore and I can somehow get on with it. I have no thoughts of suicide if that is the train of thought you are working at, quite the contrary actually I have a fear of death, I am afraid of it and I don't know why. Like many things in my life I have unanswered questions. I have questions that just sit in my head because no one has answers to them. I read this book one time, called Ireland and I fell in love with it. A girl goes to Ireland with her aunt and goes on an adventure all over the place exploring places she never imagined all while her aunt hides a secret, of a war. Secrets unravel and lives are turned upside down and yet as I place my life next to this girls life, mine balances out as if my life is just as bad but it just hasn't gotten there yet. I look around at peoples lives and I watch, some are going through the climax of their stories some or in the falling action stage and others are at the conclusion. I can't help but wonder, will I be at the conclusion stage one day and look back on my life thinking. "I could have down something better."


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